my friends

Yeah...we've grown up....

I remember, Six or Eight years ago our main concern only was where to eat every lunch time, where to hang out after school, where to sleep-over during reviews, and where to go during sembreaks. We were the kind of friends who are contended being together, walking and running along the hall ways of St. Paul's. We were like kids trapped in ladies body. hehehe....we were the "childlike" type, then...almost late bloomers. While some were spending nights at the coolest and elite pubs or bar, we were just having sleep-overs in a friends house, chatting till wee hours ... till we fall asleep. While some of the college girls have dates on Valentines day, we preferred to make Valentines day as our official "friend's day". We're happy being together...laughing out loud...being our worse...our best...being ourselves.

Years passed by and we found ourselves in Makati, working in different organizations. From everyday get together...it became every other day. Then, we just looked forward every friday for hang outs, since everybody was busy with scheds. While some, changed workplace. Then, from every friday it became often...then seldom.

Joanna, got married with Gerard. That was the first time I saw everyone in glam. We were all in the entourage. Then Joanna got pregnant. Gave birth. We were all "ninangs" to her first child.

At that time, it was only Eljae who has a boyfriend. His name was Third...he became an addition in the group. And that time..Cai was in the process of getting over Badjong. While the rest of us, were still single...still childlike but a bit turning into ladies...who were slowly starting to wish for our own love stories.

Then, Kathleen had a boyfriend. It was Jay...another addition.

My highschool bestfriend, Arjay, and Roche hit it off. Now, they are still together.

Then, Lara had a boyfriend. It didn't last that long. Then, another one came into the picture. It was her high school greatest crush. Likewise, it didn't last. She decided to rest her heart. Mending was never easy, of course.

Rizza, had a boyfriend...James. They were officemates. James was another addition to the group.

However, the relationship lasted only for a year. They broke up.

Then she met Aebel. They hit it off. Now, Aebel is another addition to the growing group.

My bestfriend Joahna, finally found her knight and shining armor...in the person of Ad. He again, became one of us.

Cai found her boyfriend through the help of "friendster". Tope was her schoolmate back in highschool and during that time he already had feelings for my friend, just that, Cai had a boyfriend that time. She added her in her friend's list. Then, they met up. Then, the rest is history.

Then it was Lara's turn to find her perfect pair. To be honest, they're totally opposites...but maybe it was love that keep them together...and make them perfect for each other. Just like Joahna and Rizza, Lara met Mel in the bank where she was working for. Infairness to Mel, he is the husband-material. The relationship went well.

Kath needed to leave us for a while for some personal reasons. She went to Florida.

Arjay, on the other hand, got his VISA and went to Las Vegas.

Roche, tried her luck in Singapore. But went back after a month.

Cai, was fortunate and blessed to have found a job in Vienna...while having her vacation there

....Rizza, just came back from Singapore.

Eljae, got pregnant. She gave birth and just like Joanna...everyone became "Ninangs".

Lara, got married. Got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful little princess..."Lorin". We were all again "Ninangs".

Kath was supposed to get married this month...but for some reason. She called the wedding off... She cried. And until now...I know, she isn't fine.

I know, Rizza and Aebel have plans of settling down.

Arjay wants to marry Roche when he comes back on September this year. They are still discussing things. Hope they will finally have a wise decision.

Cai and Tope... also have the same plan for this year. But for some reasons...

Well, I know God has another plan...I know they can fix things up. God is with them.

Years have passed...our lives have changed. I am just glad, that though there were changes...our friendships still the same.

We still go to each other, when problems arise...we are all still looking forward to talk to one another just to keep abreast with what's going on...or sometimes for no reason at all.

Our friendship is one tested by time...tested by one another. This is a blessing from God...a blessing for everyone of us. Each of us may be different from one another...but everyone complements each other.

While everyone is settling down and creating a family of their own...our group is growing bigger and bigger...including the partners (or the family) we have in our lives.

We have grown up...

Some are aiming success...

Some are working hard for a better future...

Some are living up a dream...

Some are trying her best to be a good mother and wife...

Some are giving her all....

Some are enjoying life to the fullest...

Some are learning...trying...

Some are hoping....struggling...fighting...

We have grown up...

...but whatever happens...nothing will change...our friendship remains.

it is something we can never outgrew.

there are words better left unsaid....
if it doesn't cause good, it is not being coward to just
keep it...
and think.
for all you know, it could be just a spur of the moment!

Not an accident

We are never an accident in this world. Our existence was planned by God. He chose our parents...the right parents who would bring us out in this world.

God knows that their genes (traits, personalities, talents, weaknesses and strengths) are perfect to create a PERSON that we are right now. Different from each other...yet special in God's eyes. Our being is supplemented by the blessings, adversities, tests, challenges, achievements and other circumstances. Hence, these things happened to complete us. It is a process of our individualities. God intended those things to happen all because He loves us.

God wants us to know ourselves better...God wants us to know Him better...

by loving ourselves...only then we will be able to see how wonderful God is...to have made such a wonderful "us"...letting us experience life.

by loving God...only then we will have real peace and happiness...

trusting Him that whatever happens...it is all because of His love for us.

"The glory of life is beyond our senses. The love of God is beyond the glory of life"

- by me

OSHO

Osho is one of the ten people along with Gandhi, Nehru, and Buddha who have changed the destiny of India. His writtings challenge the conditioned beliefs and prejudices of people that limit capacity to enjoy life to the fullest. His writtings are pragmatic, sensible and rational. Very unconventional yet will make you nod. His influence continues even after his death.

Reading one of his articles (which is another favorite in my collections) over and over, creates a different appreciation and a deeper interest. It shows the dichotomy of life and his brave insights in dealing with its profoundness. It encourages openness (dropping all our defenses). It tackles how living in truth, conquering all fears, willingness to take risks, giving trust even for the second time and travelling life without carrying any load...can make a difference.

Dreams

“But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.” - by my favorite author, Paulo Coelho.

" You are a very ambitious person..." said Sir. Atty. Doc (as he is fondly called because he's a Doctor, Professor, Forensic and a lawyer by profession), while reading my handwritting. "...that's why I like you to be my Student...", he continued. That was the only description I remembered when I joined my friends to have a drink with THEIR professor (because that time I was not yet taking the subject -LegMed).

Yes he's right. I am ambitious. Four years ago, I took the greatest risk of pursuing my dream, despite the fact that I knew right then that I don't have the means. I just told myself "God will provide". Just like what Paulo also wrote...When we want something the universe will conspire to help us get it. Indeed, it was true. He provided me everything I needed....sometimes, even more than enough. I used to have it only in my mind. Before it was even in between of hoping it would happen and letting go of what I can not have. Not having anything at all, I told myself that I could not just stare at the moon and wait till it sits right next to me.

Easy...it was not. The process dared me...confronted me with even more challenges....family, work, finances and even at times myself. However, I chose not to give up. It's a decision. Every day that I am there...is a decision. Looking back, some may say I have sacrificed many things....better job opportunities, position, time, money, savings, material possessions...but in my heart there's really no single hint of regret. Those things are temporary. What I have is something I will forever cherish. It's a choice. It is a continuing process of fulfillment, that I will always be grateful for....to myself and to God.

There's no guarantee that I will end it successfully...No wise man can ever assure that. But it does not really matter. It is not the destination...but the journey. For me, I am still a winner (at my own right!).

We are like artist who makes his own painting. The DREAMS are our paints and BELIEVING is the brush that converts the dream into a masterpiece of reality. No matter how our paints look like....it is a masterpiece of its own, because we took the courage to believe....that we can make it a REALITY.

John

Yesterday, I had the chance to have a chat with my friend Cai. She's in Vienna working for UNIDO and eversince she left, our communication became very seldom. But thanks to YM!(i just had my access recently)..for connecting us despite the distance. Every time I see her "on line" I get really so enthralled. We were in the middle of our conversation (informing each other of things friends would normally share), when she asked me to read the bible (particularly the book of John). It was an easy decision for me to make with so much eagerness. I mean, who am I to refuse? that's bible! Right away, I surfed in the net. So far, I have only read the first book. I copied the lines that have struck me as I pursued reading John....
If we say that we have no sin, we are false to ourselves and there is nothing true in us.
The man who says, I have knowledge of him, and does not keep his laws, is false, and there is nothing true in him: But in every man who keeps his word, the love of God is made complete.
But if a man has this world's goods, and sees that his brother is in need, and keeps his heart shut against his brother, how is it possible for the love of God to be in him?
There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear, because where fear is, there is pain; and he who is not free from fear is not complete in love.
And we are certain that if we make any request to him which is right in his eyes, he will give ear to us: And if we are certain that he gives ear to all our requests, we are equally certain that we will get our requests.
When I finished the first book and its five chapters, I've realized that It's more than a pact, which I have consumated with a friend. It is a commitment I have made not only to myself, but to God. Cai, even asked me to share to our friends whatever I would learn, as I go along the book. At first, I thought It would just be easy...interpreting the phrases or the verses and verbalizing it. But then, getting into the verse deeply...Now I know that I have thought wrong. The hardest part is living with His words...keeping His laws, first. There are many things in my life that, I must admit, need total renovation. I have made many mistakes. I had been weak to so many temptations. I failed Him in so many ways. There are so many things I need to repent...many things I need to learn before anything else. In me...there is a need of a complete renewal. A blind can not lead another blind. I want to subscribe to God's wisdom....and when I see the light, I will guide others in order to see that as well. But I know...that would take time.
I am so blessed to have a friend like Cai. I know this is another God's revelation....

what they say

"How can you determine whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state". - PLATO
I think; therefore I am. (Cogito, ergo, sum)- RENE DESCARTES
The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends and where the other begins? - EDGAR ALLAN POE
Look into the depths of your own soul and learn first to know yourself, then you will understand why this illness was bound to come upon you and perhaps you will thenceforth avoid falling ill.- SIGMUND FREUD
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.- ROBERT FROST
Courage is grace under pressure.- ERNEST HEMMINGWAY
Wise men do not argue with fools -LAO-TZU
People do not lack strength; they lack will.- VICTOR HUGO
I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.- HENRY DAVID THOREAU
True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all.- SOCRATES

Gratitude Rock

I had a great time spending my vacation ! yahoooh! I got much time with my family. I had much time being alone...enjoying my solitude. I had the opportunity to meet old folks...I got to see (again) my favorite and cute pamangkins. I had a drink with my favorite-drinking buddies (Kuya Danny, Kuya Al and Ate Masol). I got to hang-out with my loving-crazy-wacky friends (finally!). On Lara's bday we had dinner. Everyone was there! -Jo, Ad, Carlo, Roche, Lenny, Mel and of course Lara!...God I miss Rizza, Kath, Arjay and Cacai! I started the year right by hearing a mass (with Roche). We were just having coffee and a recollection of what has happened on the past year, when we decided to go to the nearest Chapel and pray.
I have so much hope that this year will be a better year...with the experiences that I had, hope this made me more mature enough to handle things the right way. The talk I had with Cacai was very inspiring...and I appreciate that so much. It made me a lot closer to God. Lara's imparted wisdom was quite awakening. It has indeed awaken me from a dilemma of knowing myself....better. Now, that I am back to my senses...I want to devote my time to more significant things/people in my life.
Cautious, I know I should be more. Optimism will help me get through the bad times. I know my Faith will give me more strength to carry on.
Right now, I am just a Heart filled with so much gratitude. To have a great family...loving and true friends...what more can I ask for?

Chapter

The hardest part of any ending is not saying goodbye...it is actually after saying it. It is when the memories of yesterday linger in your mind...playing like it will never end. It is when you avoid dwelling on it, that the more it haunts you like a ghost of the past. It is when you realize that everything has changed...and you're the only one who hasn't. It is when pretention has been a fixation...and denial has been a shield.
It takes time....But no matter how hard it is...you just have to let go and accept the loss. Bearing in mind that in moving on... it will never come back.
And a new chapter is up....to make your life more meaningful.

Life's uncertainties...

Life doesn't guarantee anything....Nothing is certain in this world. You say hello...tomorrow it's goodbye. You give friendship...one day you will be betrayed. You give love....sometimes it doesn't comes back. However, sometimes it pays you big time. Gives you memories that complete your life.

The uncertainty of life gives us real strength...it teaches us to test ourselves inspite of difficulties. To be firm with our decisions...even sometimes we really want to give up and doubts starting to get in our nerves, questioning if we can still continue the fight.

It teaches us to accept things....no matter how sour or bitter it is. It teaches us to wipe our tears, while generating more strength to say "goodbye"....It teaches us to let go of the things that are not meant for us...of the things that make us cry...make us sad...make us crazy...make us stupid...make us unwise. It teaches us to laugh at our mistakes...with a resolution that tomorrow will be a better "us". It gives us hope...that God never closes two doors. It makes us wise enough that there are still spaces in our hearts...and in our minds....and maybe also in our souls....that need to be filled up. It make us aware that as we grow...life begins to be more complicated, if we choose it to be one.

It will take a lot of courage...to move on, to accept defeat, to build what has been ruined, to change our lives...to better ourselves...to live in a new beginning. After the storm, there should be no other option but to get up from a not-so-nice consequence of an act.

The experiences that we have been through will be our arms in the next battle. . . with a hopeful heart that if today we are picking all the grapes...tomorrow we will be drinking the wine. If today the clouds are gray...tomorrow the sun will shine bright.