I have come to accept that people will always have something to say about someone...about something and nobody escapes from that - not even the President, right?

In a big circle with a small dot, the dot always enjoys the attention.

People's opinion if taken seriously could be helpful in improving oneself...but once you have taken it beyond what you can just take, then it becomes dangerous.
Believe me, it can eat you...slowly but surely.

It is not that we shall become numb about criticism...just that we should accept that it is but part of everyones life. It's not ONLY you.
I guess, if you want to make a difference...try to manage it well. Without you compromising your identity and without you being a people pleaser.

Stay grounded.
Spend much time knowing yourself more than knowing others.
For if you know yourself...and you feel good about what you have come to know...
then nobody can just ruin you.

Being True..or Being Apathetic?

I came across a blog (of my former schoolmate...) and there's this one phrase, which although I forgot the verbatim, the message lingers to me and remains fresh in my mind.
She has always been someone I looked up to eversince we were schoolmate...I find her personality very strong, unpretentious, adventurous, sharp, grounded, witty and intelligent. I know she is not an "ordinary girl".
If I was a guy...she's the kind of lady I would want to pursue.

I happened to read few of her entries...
In one of her entries she wrote that in her pursuit to know herself she thought that - doing the things she wanted to do, saying things she wanted to say and acting without any consideration of other people is right and justified by being "TRUE" to oneself. But then, later in life she realized...IT IS NOT.

It struck me!
Yes...she has a point.
We are responsible not only with ourselves but likewise with other people. Our right to express ourselves (disregarding the rights, privacy, feelings of other people) is NOT ABSOLUTE.
Somewhere in between it should be restricted.
Once a word has been uttered...once something has been done it can neither be erased nor undone.
It's there already...the marks are there.
Our apology may ease it...but it shouldn't be an excuse. Otherwise, it could only be a vicious cycle - of saying sorry and doing what has been done for the second and nth time.

Let us not be apathetic...we are not living alone in this world.
More than our egos, pride and self-filling-up-those-emptiness...there are people who could be hurt, damaged, destroyed or affected along the way...

Bookmates

Joey and I are working on with a project.
It's basically a compilation of our writings; essays, poems, jokes, anecdotes and the likes. Hopefully by next year will be able to have it published. We still have yet to think of the title, though...but I'm quite excited as JJ is.
As JJ would say; " Oras na para gisingin ang artistic side"... :)
I'll try much as I can to squeeze this in my seemingly jampacked schedule...

BOTE

This year has been a lot meaningful to me, not only with the blessings that have been given, but also because I have found new good friends along the way....and one of them is Archie.

I never really thought that we would hit off as friends. Never in my mind it (ever) crossed that I would found a good friend in Chie. Hindi dahil sa Aries sya at Taurus ako hahahaha...(coz napakaseldom na may nakakasundo akong Aries for some reason which I myself do not understand as well)...well maybe because I just thought we were different in sooo many ways. But then, I thought wrong!!!
We may not be completely the same...but hey! in some point and for some reason we can relate to each other very WELL (...good or bad; weird or normal; sane or insane).

We were schoolmates since gradeschool (to highschool) but just to note-we were never classmates.
I remember that we never even had the chance to have even just a small talk through all those years....and yeah that's all I remember, aside from the fact that I never had any fond memories of my highschool or gradeschool years...really(with emphasis on that point).
I must admit that I was the geek type, if not someone who has her own world and doesn't want anybody to meddle with it...otherwise "sasamain talaga!"- especially boys!
Mataray...masungit...may sariling mundo - to perfectly describe it!
Well perhaps because I was going through a lot during those times...
Chie, on the other hand, belongs to a popular group that time.
Sila yung mga tipo ng student na palaging nakikita sa prefect of discipline...
yung mga nagcucutting classes..
tumatawid sa simbahan...para makatakas
nagtatago sa rooftop...at kung anu anung ginagawa
yung palaging laman ng mga "contest"....sayaw, laro or even Mr & Ms. Something....
yung puro ligaw at barkada at kalokohan....
(hahahaha...sobrang paninira na ito ah)

But I've realized...we have to know where everyone is coming from para makilala natin tlaga ang isang tao..
We have to atleast open their closet(with their permission at least) or just to know them personally...before we can even say A WORD about a person...
But come to think of it...we still have no right...to judge.
I bet no one wants to be judged as well..

Just to recall how it all started, us being friends, it's started with YM's technology.
Yeah chat! Then we met up over lunch with another friend (Roche).
Then we had a drinking spree after office.
and minsan mga one-on-one...
(Something I miss doing now!)

Chie, is one of the very few people who is not afraid to be himself.
Isa siya sa mga lalaking masasabi kong walang "pretention"...
He is not afraid to ask for help...he is not afraid to show his weaknesses...and I guess that's one true measure of being a "MAN"....and indeed I find it very COOL.
One thing I admire him is how he values his family....
He has a good and open relationship with his parents (unico ijo) and his own family.
He became a father at an early age but he didn't make it as an excuse not to be a good "Padre de Pamilya"...coz I tell you...He is a responsible one.
He remains to be a loyal husband....and a very loving father to his two beautiful kids.
alam kung maraming temptation itong kaibigan kung ito...(di natin masisisi may itsura eh!)
but one thing good about him...he knows how to handle such.
He knows his way "HOME"...literally and figuratively as he is not the type who would sacrifice it just for wordly or damn senseless reasons...and I really admire him for that.
He is not the "stereotype" kind....he may look like someone who will not do any good but hey! I dissent!...he is one gentleman and a true bro! One True Friend...
Masarap ibestfriend 'tong taong ito kasi he's not the type who would befriend you for some vested interest or selfish reason...papakisamahan ka nya...regardless of anything else.
He is very reliable...if he has nothing to give, he'll sure find a way to help you in your need.
Some would comment negative against him...but the hell I care. He is one friend worth keeping!
He's someone who can give you an insane advice...that will somehow make you sane (very oxymoron...but it's true!) ...may mga point sa mga pajoke na payo nya...
may mga sense sa akala mong walang kwentang ideas nya...
no sugar coating...
straight to the point...
blunt but true...
daring but mapapaisip ka...that's really a way to happiness...
simple yet practical...
This man is profound in some ways...
Rational on the other side.
One thing nice about him ay hindi sya nagsasawa sa pakikinig. He never get tired of his friend's whines and complains about everything and anything...kinig lang yan...and payo kit paulit ulit nalang kayo. He has that much patience, to begin with.
Magugulat ka nalang you're laughing in the middle of your conversation...kahit na nga ba nakamind set ka ng "emote mode".

In one way or another...I feel that he was God's way of helping me to get out from a certain situation, which I shouldn't be in to.
I feel that our meeting has a certain purpose...
Perhaps, Chie was just used by God as an instrument for me to learn a lesson - saving me from learning it the harder way...
I will never forget the time we were in Starbucks(that was few hours after we had lunch..on our first meeting after ten years) yung nagopen sya ng story nya...and I feel wow parang isang maingay na alarm clock na gumising sa aking pagkakatulog.
It's as if his story fitted what I was going through (some sort of dark clouds) that time....
Thereafter, I've realized ..."this is a clear message -what God wanted me to do".
and I'm proud of myself to have followed it...

I always believe that....everyone has their own stories to tell...and every story that each one has...is meant to move, if not teach, someone else's life.
and I guess, in someway...his story has in a way taught me something...


Time indeed is not a measure of a true, strong and lasting friendship...
and I've learned that further when I've met Chie.


Truly our friendship is way beyond cases of beer... :)

cai and tope

My friend, Cai, is getting married this coming Dec. 18 (2008). She'll arrive from Vienna at Dec. 6 ...and I guess, she'll leave in January.

I don't know that much about Cai and Tope's love story... all I know is that Tope is God's answer to Cai's prayer. Let me share one story (that I must say has inspired me much) that cai had told me before. Pardon me (Cai) for my own interpretation...

Cai was walking one day...heading towards her house. Tired and exhausted, probably from work...or probably from some other things.

Cai: "Lord, pagod na ko...sana naman dumating yung time may ibang tao naman ang mag-alaga sa akin...." ( I wonder if she was also sighing deeply).

But of course it's not like any fairytale story that a prince charming riding on a horse would suddenly cross her way or pop out the scene...

So how did she meet Tope? - First Time

Tope and Cai were highschool classmates before at San Isidro Catholic School. Tope was Cai's secret crush. Unknown to Cacai, Tope was likewise crushing on her...just that he couldn't make a move as Cai had a boyfriend that time (who happened to be Tope's friend).

Time flew and they had not heard from each other.

They travelled their own path.

So how did she meet Tope? - Second Time

Whenever I ask Cai about this, she doesn't seem to be shy about it and doesn't hide the fact that she somehow initiated the meeting. With the technology and the help of Friendster...they were able to find each other's hand.

She then invited (I guess that time Cai was testing her courage) him to attend at Riza's niece's Bday at Mcdo (imagine children's party).

...and so the rest is history.

Distance didn't hinder their relationship. Cai is in Vienna and Tope is here in the Philippines.

I guess what they have a great foundation...and that is they improved first their personal relationship with God...and THEIR relationship thereafter.

I am happy for Cai and Tope.

I am at peace that Cai and Tope ended up together...for I know they will take good care of each other.

.....to be continued

"But as he proceeds on his journey, he realizes that the people to whom he did not behave correctly always cross his path again. It is his chance to right the wrong he did them, and he always,unhesitatingly, seizes the chance ..." -Paulo Coelho, Warrior of Light.

You're my best friend's Lyrics...

Many people say true friendsare hard to findBut I know I'm not that kindThey come and go andsometimes leave us behindLike a wind that passes byChorus(Cause)When you need a friendThat you can dependYou can count on me becauseyou're my best friendWhen you're feeling downAnd your heart is hurtYou can call on me andi'll be there for you friendGood things may come and thenbad things may goLike a birth a long time agoYou're like the ship that's sailingacross the seaTo the waves that's so unkind...

LAST WILLS...at last!

There's so many things that I should be thankful about.
I had a vacation, may not be that grant but hey! at least I had.
I had the chance to visit a church few weeks ago....very good!
ENROLLED AKO! but of course!
claim it ...and you'll get it!
which means I don't have problems with anything...money, time and grades!
I was not supposed to enrol on the scheduled date as I went out of my budget last week and spent so much the other week thinking that the enrollment schedule would fall next week...I am such a mushroom! ( i have just learned this word...hehehe...which means "left in the dark". Pardon me if I am the only person who doesn't know this....can't blame me i'm such a MUSHROOM!well, at times)
going back... hehehe : )
so there...my friend lent me last tuesday through her mom (since she's out of the country).
I was not supposed to get the money as I was expecting my money would be credited on the same week (TRUE enough it came two days after I got the money from my friend's mom)...but her mom was kind enough (too kind) to insist that I should get it. I took it despite the fact that I didn't feel that comfortable...but I just didn't want her mom to feel bad of rejecting her help (who am I?)
I was crossing the street heading towards the school with heart almost on my throat.
I was as edgy as a "husband waiting outside the delivery room"...
But I held on the thought that if it's not really for me, then why would God make a way (even if I wasn't asking for it).
Time was running out....
it was a long line of students waiting for verdicts...
my number was 52(second batch).
I saw a former classmate and had a small talk with her....her number was 99 (first batch) and she was there the last day and went back that day as she wasn't able to make it until 2am (yes the enrollment lasted till that time...what a!)
Looking at all the students patiently waiting outside the dean's office....it made me feel depressed all the more.
I went near the glass window...
after five minutes...my name was called! (hehehe sometimes I really can be that damn lucky!)
I think my envelope was mistakenly put on top of someone else's ....whatever!? It's a blessing in disguise, nonetheless.
After I was evaluated...I enrolled right a way...with no sweat at all. No negotiation whatsoever....hehehe
Thank Goodness I passed WILLS as I can not afford to repeat it...not this time when my QPI and GWA are in great peril.
my grades are fine....and i'm happy about it. wheeeeewwww!

and so I must FACE this coming sem with so much courage and confidence.

face to face

dejavu?...nope! it isn't!
I must have gained so much courage from the past that deep inside me, without further convincing, Iam certain and ready to meet him....once again!
"hit me baby one more time!" as Britney Spear's song once wrongly inspired me (us)...
but definitely I shall NOT give him the LUXURY to hit me sooo badly..NEVER!!!!
I should have learned my lesson well...this time around.
And that is not to give other people the chance to take away the only thing I have
....HOPE, that is.
I sense everything is in my favor
...circumstances have never been this good to me
and I have the feeling I'm getting there...

BUT of course...I can not just rely MERELY on my senses
I still believe that fruits taste good when it came from a hard labor...
I have recouped and so there's no turning back, no hesitation
i'm just going forward.

different now..

When I look in to your eyes I can feel the coldness inside…
I can tell by the way you stare that so much has changed.
Too bad that after all the good times…
It has to end just like this.
But I guess…it’s a truth I am compelled to face and
Hopefully, sooner or later, I will learn to accept.

I have been trying to avoid thoughts that would lead me to you.
Thoughts that will bring back the memories of good times shared,
Of care once given and
Of the smiles and laughter once caused in each other’s life.
But there are really times that I miss you…and I can’t help myself not to dwell.
I miss being with you - being with the OLD you.

It is sad that all this time it still makes me cry
Knowing that it wouldn’t be like it was before…
That no matter how much I try…
It just couldn’t be like it was…

Although letting-you-go is something I have conditioned my self long time ago,
I would be lying if I say “it has been easy now”…because it is not.
But it is something I know…I’ll learn to do and time will help me…I believe so.

I would like to think it is better off this way.
I know you can not give what you think I deserve…
But just so you’d know…I never really expected anything
Even from the beginning…
Everything I have felt…I have felt that without any condition whatsoever.
Everything that I did…I have done out of the intention to make you happy.
No other reason…but to even somehow touch your heart and keep it away from pain.

If there were times I’ve acted out of where I should only stand…
If there were times that I’ve said words I should not have…
If there were times I’ve tested your patience, understanding and sanity…
If there were times I’ve caused chaos in your tranquility…
If there were times I’ve caused aches…intentional and unintentional
…I am deeply sorry.

I am no longer hoping for anything…
If anything good happens
It will happen…perhaps for a reason
But I will neither do something nor push things…
…I just want to move forward.


Life is short to hurt the ones important to us…
The world is small to burn any bridges…
I am happy that I have come to know someone like you.
Years may pass…
And though things have changed a lot…
Something will always remain…no matter what.