I’ve learned both good and bad things…
I can not be honest all the time and expect the same from others…I can only trust so much. And keep everything for myself.
I never thought that too much concern can ruin or destroy what has been built...
...and sometimes it is better not to know things...unless, you want to hurt yourself.
to go on...or move further...is always the best resort, if not the last.
Inspite of everything...It is still a choice not to nurse even a bit of grudge...
i will try to understand...as much as i can

God works in mysterious ways...
we have just to trust.

--believer

knife

did you hear it?
or better not...?
its sweetness can deceive you...but bitterness of its truth
cuts like a knife....

--Lies

thief

I tried to find a reason...
...a reason i didn't find.
why I can't escape you..and my thoughts can't avoid
This shouldn't be!
like a thief..you stole my sanity!
So please..just give it back to me....

--desperation

...just when things go wrong...
I know I only have to TRUST God...
I will find a way,
God will lead me through...

it pays to have friends (my angels)

because somebody will guide you through your journey...which path to take....and which to avoid.
...i would heard them shouting...yelling...nagging....at me
and though most of the time they thought i am just taking them forgranted....which makes them a lot furious .....the truth is, all their opinions count
i may be stubborn most of the time...but i listen
i know that their concerns are priceless....
....i am just ssoooo glad and feel blessed to have them all in my life....
love them so much!!!
more than words...

my closest guy friend

it is when you've gotten over a person...saying it's finally over.
it is when you have accepted the reality... and know very well that you can never be...
it is when you no longer asking anything in return....it is when you are happy with the happiness that the person has....
it is when you're becoming happy each day...seeing him that way

it is when there's no more hurting...probably because you've got used to it...and the tears have run dry....

it is when you are just allowing the feelings to flow....every day...neither denying nor pretending
it is when enjoying every moment with the person
it is when being at your happiest when with the person
it is when being yourself...your worst and your best...
it is when you've grown not to get tired...but grown to accept things the way it is....
it is when hatred and bitterness are not the result of your being not compensated from what you're giving and capable of giving of....but rather, understanding and accepting....and loving the person inspite of
it is when letting go of the emotion...and not the person...because doing the latter would mean...taking off a part of your life....
it is when you have grown to love the person....the way he is right now...
and just a thought of him...makes you smile or even laugh...for no reason at all
and the thought of losing him in your life....makes you weep badly.
it is when the time has passed....but the feeling has not...
but you're just taking your time ...
it is when becoming contented to be the best of friends...
and chosing between any other things...
you know you will choose this way......
if that's the only consolation to keep him...
*****
it is when every day you thank God for giving you a friend like him...

I remember i was once asked, why i have different set of friends...
why i can deal with different kinds of people...with different personalities...
perhaps, i just know how not to judge people....regardless of any other factors
i am not perfect...and i can only respect and understand....
people act differently with different people...i can not judge a person base only to certain incident...i have no right
acceptance is a long process....it takes a while....but it a must
trust is important...
sincerity
...honesty
everyday i take step no matter how hard it is...to be a better friend
i am not perfect...
i, too, have flaws.....
but one thing for sure...i take friendship seriously...

you don't know me that much...

i am crazy?...i am stubborn?...i am lost?...i am confusing?...i am dumb ass?...i am shallow?
what else?! - what else can you say or think to hurt me?
i have heard so many hurtful words in this life...
no matter how painful all those things...i crawled...just to get up...telling myself...nobody can ever hurt me.
i don't need to tell you who am i....you don't know where i'm coming from...
what you know about me is not enough....
do not act as if you know me...that you know the entire me....
i have gone through a lot...and never will i waste those experiences that have made me....only to make convince you more....that i am only like that....like what you think about me...
do not act as if you know me....because you don't...

***we can never trust our senses....there is more than what we can see

never say never

...said i will never say goodbye again
I am glad for gaining back an old friend
...and promised myself never to do such a thing, to have my friend go away...
but in life there's no certainty...
i can only do what i can...
and say less of a promise...for time always put me on a test.

near explosion

I had too much this week...this early.
yeah... and it is really such a week!
My bestfriend's birthday almost slipped my memory...i am so bad!!! (sorry Jo, but it doesnt mean i love you less...promise) I really have to make up with Joahna. I'm so sorry for not even preparing for her special day...that's tomorrow. They planned an overnight this Saturday...but how can I join them? It's my final exam week....I am torn!
My ate almost got mad...i have not even replied on her YM messages...I even have pending replies for others....
...and pending promises I made---to some friends...I really have to make up.
I completely missed Ghe's birthday, yesterday. She was even the one who reminded me through YM...only for me to reply just a simple "happy birthday!"all because I was in a hurry. What a friend!
Lastnight, three friends were cursing me to have even forgotten about the time...they were waiting for me for almost 3 hours. I was so lost! and malfunctioning...
The three preferred companies are now in my hands...I had an initial interview yesterday with one. Got one final interview this Friday on the other...and second Interview with another, next week. What a move!...when it rain it really pours. The catch is...how to make excuses in the office..
Plus, my moving plan (dorm)...which I should have done this week, remains on hold. I still have to move my stuffs...but I really want to move asap.
Home stuffs...thank goodness...it's getting manageable....thank goodness I have a wonderful and supportive parents and "pinakapasaway" sister, who never sleep without a nag from me.
My work?....it sucks!!! don't ask why...i'd rather skip
I haven't started my case digest yet...I have not even touched my research paper on International Law... all due on Saturday...I want to cry!!!!
I Still have two final exams to hurdle this coming weekends...Legal Forms and Corporation Law....and I have not even finished reading the book for Legal forms (imagine..still reading?!!! which means, I have to further study it thereafter) And of course Corpo...I only have one option...BUT TO PASS IT!!!!! I don't know how to be a magician again...to even squeeze everything....but I have to do it...because I want to.
Right after finals...I will be into the Bar Operation thingie, as Bj made me his subject head. Which means, I have to indulge myself in helping out for the needed materials for the assigned subject....not to mention that I have promised him I will accompany in Batangas for the team building --->this is after, probably, our sembreak getaway in Subic. This is suppose to be fun....
With new people in my life...at first there were thrill and fun...well, there is still...I just hope I know how not to absorb others problem....and how to control my emotions again!!!!what the?! #@&! And another friend...just popped up in the picture.......................I hope I can manage.
Glenda is complaining headaches after hanging out with me and Roche after office....she said we are both rattled and disorganized...and seem lost and as if inebriated....I told her we are just not in our normal state of mind and it's contagious...
I thought making myself busy is some sort of theraphy...but just like what everybody says...too much of everything is bad enough. I guess, I should know how to manage...so that what suppose to be a blessing....would be happiness and something to be thankful for...and not something to complain.

All I am experiencing right now is some sort of a roller-coaster-ride...and I am close to throwing up with the pressure...for the intensity is so extreme....

mixed emotions...I know I am happy...edgy...anxious...confused...assessing myself....I am still continue assessing it, the best that I can. But it seems complicated...well, maybe only for now...I'll soon recover.

what the!?!

it's still probably in between of liking and avoidance of thought....
somewhat amusement...
unexplainable-playing-weird-idea...
a routine..but not boredom...
a raise of an eyebrow...
an adventure to enjoy....
...just a smile to let out.

basta lang

I admire those people who are doing things they want to do with all sense of spontaneity...who are not afraid of anything...of what would it cause them..as long as they are happy.

People who say things..if they feel like saying it.

People who are not afraid of their feelings.

Who are impulsive...intuitive and yet responsible enough to face the consequences of their actions.

These are people who take risks without any second thought...who at the end, have learned the definition of loss or gain....but still they have learned something.

For them living life is dependent on our stay here on earth....that our stay is uncertain...hence, opportunity to live life is likewise uncertain. They are the ones whose outlook in life is to live each day in fullness...no matter what.

just another wind blow

it's just another one that has passed....
after sharing its coldness...carressing my soul
...it's just another- that went away
Never came back...Never stayed...

antidote

...kung minsan hindi natin alam kung ano pa ang dahilan ng ating karamdaman ay iyon din ang kagalingan.

Sa mahabang panahon, inakalang naghilom na ang sugat ng nakaraan. Inakalang sa paglipas ng maraming panahon, ang mga karanasan, mga bagong paglalakbay at pakikipagtunggali sa buhay ay sapat na upang limutin ang pangit na nakalipas...iniisip na ito ay mababaw lamang upang kainin ang pagkatao...at sirain ang anumang pilit sinisimulan. Isinantabi ang anumang naramdaman habang sinasabi sa sarili na iyon ay lilimutin na lamang at bubuo ng bagong gagalawan. Sa gitna ng Paglimot at Pag-alaala, may ngiti, may lungkot, may tagumpay, may pag-asa at may pagbabago. Ang pangit na nakalipas ay isa nalamang tuldok. Maliit na tuldok. Ngunit ang panahon ay sadyang mapaglaro. Pilit nitong susundan ng isa pa muling istorya ang akala mong saradong kabanata. Ang pagsasantabi ay hindi isang paglimot. Na marahil ang tuldok ay isa palang kuwit at ang inakalang katapusan ay isang panimula pa lamang ng mas magandang kuwento.

...at ang sugat ay tuluyang naghilom...sa pagharap sa sanhi nito.

Ang sarili ay nakawala sa isang ...minsang pangit na panaginip....na ngayon ay isang magandang umaga.